Sometimes there are moments in every person's life where things take a hard right turn when they should be going left. There are seasons of life when things do not simply go wrong. They knock you slap on your tail. They break your heart. They flat out wreck you.
Over the past year and some change, I have experienced things that felt like much more than curveballs. Some were unexpected. Some were painful. Some were confusing. And some were simply down right soul-crushing.
There have been so many times when I have found myself going to God again and again saying:
“God, I don't understand this.
I don't like this.
I wouldn't have chosen this.
This wasn't in my plans.
Why is this happening? Why me?
What happens next?
I'm scared.”
Maybe you've prayed something similar.
Heck, maybe you're praying it right now.
There is something especially difficult about trusting God when the life unfolding in front of you looks nothing like the life you prayed for. We all love to talk about trusting God's plan when we can see where He is taking us.
But what about when we can't? What about when His plan begins with an ending? What about when the door closes before another one opens? What about when God allows something to change that we desperately wanted to stay the same?
Now that y'all.....That kind of faith is different.
Because sometimes faith isn't saying, “God, I understand.”
Sometimes faith is simply saying, “God, I don't understand, but I still trust You.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
While I have gone through storm after storm there was something that hit me like a ton of bricks and it helped me changed the way I was looking at everything:
It wasn't my plan to begin with. It was His.
Now, that doesn't mean the hurt suddenly disappeared. It doesn' mean I stopped having questions. And it certainly doesn't mean surrender became easy. It simply meant I stopped demanding that God explain the entire story before I was willing to trust the Author.
And then y'all....I started to pray.
And I prayed.
And prayed some more.
And eventually, I opened my hands and let go. Not because I suddenly knew what was going to happen. But because I remembered Who did.
“A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”
— Proverbs 16:9
Even though I had made plans, God was directing steps. And news flash folks!! Those are not always the same thing. Perhaps one of the hardest lessons of faith is realizing that sometimes God has to redirect our steps to take us somewhere we never would have chosen on our own.
So let me tell you what happened after I let go and let God. After countless prayers, opportunities, conversations, uncertainty, tears, tissues and waiting, God began making the next steps after every storm more clear.
A new door opened.
Other doors were closed.
A new position came.
A new grade level was chosen and a subject I always dreamed of teaching was given.
New friendships were made.
Other friendships have ended, and that's okay too. (God may be removing you from tables you don't need to be at. But that's a whole nother subject for us to talk about. 😉)
A new group of students to love on came into my life.
Boundaries were set for safety and security.
A completely new chapter began.
Other chapters were closed.
And eventually, the uncertainty that had consumed so much of my heart began to be replaced with confirmation. I learned you can grieve what you're leaving and still be grateful for where God is leading you.
See the thing is, those two things can exist together. Faith does not require pretending that endings don't hurt. Sometimes obedience comes with tears in your eyes. Sometimes you thank God for the chapter you are closing while trembling as you turn the page. Sometimes your heart can ache for what was while still believing God has something purposeful waiting in what will be.
“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.”
— Ecclesiastes 3:1
Some seasons are meant to last. Others are meant to prepare us for the next one. The trick is learning to recognize when God is saying, “This chapter mattered. But it's time to turn the page.”
One of the most comforting promises in Scripture does not tell us that difficult things won't happen.
It tells us something better: That we won't face them alone.
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.”
— Isaiah 43:1–2
God doesn't say if you pass through the waters. He says when. When the waters rise. When the future changes. When your heart breaks. When the answer isn't what you expected. When you have absolutely no idea what comes next. I will be with you. Maybe that's the promise we need more than an explanation. Because sometimes God doesn't immediately tell us why. Instead, He reminds us Who is walking with us.
Speaking of troubled waters.....what about that in between spot? Y'all know! The one that is that place between what was and what will be. The old door has closed, but the new door hasn't fully swung open yet.
Y'all I think that's where faith gets tested really hard too.
Because let's be honest, how many of us are truly patient?! I know that ain't one of my virtues. But waiting exposes how badly we want control, am I right?! We want the five-year plan. We want confirmation. We want timelines. We want God to hand us the itinerary before we agree to take the trip. But Scripture says:
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”
— 2 Corinthians 5:7
Faith means sometimes taking the next step without knowing what the fifth step looks like. And prayer becomes especially important there. Not because prayer is a way of convincing God to follow our plans. But because prayer changes us. Prayer turns:
“God, make this happen.” into: “God, show me what You want.”
It turns: “God, give me my plan back.” into: “God, help me trust Yours.”
It turns: “God, tell me everything that's coming.” into: "God, give me enough courage for the next step.”
“Pray without ceasing.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:17
So friends, when you are facing that storm, in the middle of the storm, or heck even when your on the other side of it.... Keep praying.
Pray when you're confident.
Pray when you're terrified.
Pray when the answer comes.
Pray when Heaven seems silent.
Pray when the door opens.
Pray when it closes.
And pray when all you have left to say is:
“God, I trust You.”
Because He hears you.
James writes something incredibly difficult:
“Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.”
— James 1:2–3
Know this.......
Trials can deepen faith.
Waiting can develop patience.
Uncertainty can teach surrender.
Heartbreak can change our priorities.
Closed doors can redirect our steps.
And sometimes the very thing we begged God to prevent becomes part of the road He uses to move us toward our purpose.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
— Romans 8:28
Not everything that happens to us is good.
But God is still good.
And He is still able to work through all things.
There will always be excitement.
There will always be hope.
There will always be nervousness.
There will always be sadness.
And there may always be unanswered questions.
But know above all there is also peace.
I've realized that I don't have to know everything God intends to do with this next chapter before I enter it. I simply have to be willing to walk through the door. My prayer isn't that everything ahead will be easy. My hope is that I will fulfill whatever purpose God has me there in the places he puts me and with the people He puts in my life.
That I will love the people He puts in front of me.
That I will recognize the opportunities He gives me.
That I will remember the lessons from the chapters behind me.
And that when He asks me to move again someday, I will remember:
He was faithful here, too.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
— Jeremiah 29:11
If you're standing in a season right now saying, “God, this wasn't my plan,” maybe you don't need to figure everything out tonight. Maybe you simply need to surrender the next step. You are allowed to be disappointed. You are allowed to grieve. You are allowed to admit that you're scared. You can bring every bit of that honestly before God.
But don't confuse uncertainty with abandonment.
God has not lost sight of you.
The unexpected turn in your story did not surprise Him. The closed door did not cancel your purpose. The waiting does not mean He has forgotten you. And the chapter that hurt you does not get to write the ending of your story.
So pray.
Then pray again.
And when you have prayed every word you and have nothing left to say, whisper:
“Not my will, but Yours.”
Jesus Himself prayed those words:
“Nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.”
— Luke 22:42
There is incredible freedom in surrender. Because once we stop trying to force God into the story we wrote for ourselves, we can begin discovering the one He is writing. And man, His writing skills are WAY more epic than mine!
I don't know everything this next chapter holds.
But I know Who holds it.
And I'm learning that knowing Him is enough to take the next step.
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