“You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting.”
— A Knight’s Tale
There are seasons in a woman’s life when she feels as though everything about her is being weighed and measured.
Her success.
Her motherhood.
Her marriage.
Her career.
Her appearance.
Her faith.
Her ability to hold everything together.
And sometimes, well let's be honest most times, the person holding the measuring stick is ourselves.
We look at what we have accomplished and what we have not. We remember the times we stumbled. We replay the moments when we doubted ourselves, questioned our decisions, or wondered whether we had waited too long to become the woman God was calling us to be.
But here is what I am learning:
God does not measure us the way the world does.
“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature… For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.’”
— 1 Samuel 16:7
Recently, I reached the end of a chapter I never knew God was going to write into my story.
I completed an entire master’s program. Not only did I complete an entire Master's program but I did it with a 4.0 GPA.
For some people, those numbers may simply look like grades on a transcript. But I know what is written between those numbers.
I see sacrifice.
I see tears.
I see sleepless nights.
I see assignments completed after long days at work.
I see a wife trying to be present in her marriage.
I see a mama raising three busy babies while desperately wanting them to know that they were never less important than the dream she was pursuing so she could make all their lives better.
I see moments of sitting alone and wondering, Can I really do this?
I see self-doubt.
I see exhaustion.
I see moments when quitting sounded easier than continuing.
I see the people God placed around me who encouraged me when I could not encourage myself.
But most importantly, I see God.
I see Him in every step.
“The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way.”
— Psalm 37:23
There were moments when I questioned the path. There were moments when I questioned myself. There were even moments when I questioned what God was doing.
Yet God never required me to understand the entire journey before taking the next step.
He simply asked me to trust Him with it.
When God Tells You to Move...Sister You Best To Get Movin!
Maybe you are standing at the beginning of something right now.
Maybe God is asking you to go back to school.
Change careers.
Start the ministry.
Write the book.
Leave what is comfortable.
Try again.
Heal.
Forgive.
Begin something you think you are too old, too tired, too inexperienced, or too brokenhearted to begin.
Please hear this:
You are not too old to start again when God is the One calling you forward.
Moses was eighty when God called him to confront Pharaoh.
Sarah laughed because God's promise seemed impossible at her age, yet God remained faithful.
Esther stepped into a purpose bigger than the life she expected.
Ruth walked away from everything familiar without knowing what waited on the other side.
Their stories remind us that God is not limited by our timelines.
“For with God nothing will be impossible.”
— Luke 1:37
Sometimes obedience does not look impressive.
Sometimes obedience looks like opening the laptop when you would rather sleep.
Sometimes it looks like studying after everyone else has gone to bed.
Sometimes it looks like crying, praying, wiping your face, and trying one more time.
Sometimes faith sounds less like, “God, I know exactly what You are doing,” and more like:
“God, I don't understand any of this, but I still trust You.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
But When the Storm Doesn't Make Sense...Follow God Anyway.
Following God does not mean the road will be easy.
There may, nah scratch that, there WILL be storms.
There may, nope definitely will be heartbreak.
There may, sike absolutely without a doubt will be seasons when you cannot see the ending.
And let's not forget the nights when you pray the same prayer again and again and wonder whether Heaven hears you.
But let me tell you....It does.
God never promised that following Him would mean avoiding every storm. He promised something far greater:
His presence in the middle of it.
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.”
— Isaiah 43:2
Notice that Scripture says when, not if.
There will be waters.
There will be rivers.
There will be fire.
But there will also be God.
And sometimes we do not recognize what He was building in us until we finally reach the other side.
So It Is More Than a Number, It's A Lesson Well Learned....
Today, I am proud of the 4.0.
I worked incredibly hard for it.
But the greatest lesson God taught me through this journey has nothing to do with a GPA.
The grades may measure academic achievement, but they cannot measure faithfulness.
They cannot measure the prayers whispered through tears.
They cannot measure the courage it took to keep going.
They cannot measure the sacrifices made behind closed doors.
They cannot measure the people who helped carry me.
And they certainly cannot measure God's faithfulness.
I never forget the God who carried me through this one.
“Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it.”
— Philippians 1:6
So to the woman wondering whether she can begin again:
Take that step and begin.
To the woman wondering whether she is too old:
You're not to old baby love, age ain't nothing but a number.
To the woman exhausted from carrying responsibilities no one else sees:
God sees you, oh my darling how he sees you.
To the woman questioning whether the struggle means she misunderstood God's calling:
Difficulty does not automatically mean disobedience. Always remember there is a difference.
To the woman walking through a storm with no end in sight:
Keep walking. The storm won't last forever.
Your current chapter is not the conclusion.
God is still writing.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
— Jeremiah 29:11
I have been weighed.
I have been measured.
But I am learning that my worth was never determined by whether the world found me wanting.
My worth was settled long before I earned a degree, achieved a goal, became a wife, became a mother, or proved that I could accomplish something difficult. And your worth my dear was settled just the same.
I belong to God.
And perhaps the greatest testimony at the end of any chapter isn't simply:
Look what I accomplished.
Maybe it is:
Look what God carried me through.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
— Philippians 4:13
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